from now on... i try to be honest

hi.. its me 

recently life have been thought me so many things. things that only in the age of 20's can understand. anxiety, stress, loneliness, sadness, and.. depression. i get that 24 is still young you can still do many things, you can be reckless, falling in love with anyone you like, not doing anything or to be just selfish person. it's my life after all. but, something hold me up. something stop me to do all of those things. deep deep inside there's a voice that told me, "hey, you have responsible to carry on". and my answer to that? scared. not because i'm not capable of doing it but because so much expectations going on. so much that it take my joy out of my life. 

for almost every day in my life day to day i always thinking like this "what's is God's plan with my life?" "what is my purpose for living?" "do i worth living for?" the question always instantly pop out in my head. and to answer that.... to be honest, none that came logically. so, again as 24 years old me i try to be adulthood i be talk to my father. the most word that i still remember vividly till now is "i don't believe in luck i believe everything that we got is based on effort, or what we fighting for"

that's... that's the answer.. 

you still don't get it? me either haha. what i'm trying to say.. the reason we still live up to this day are to be an effort person. strive. fighting what we want. try and try again until you can't. be excited with everything that we have. or to just simply grateful for everything that we have in life now. it's sound cliche but that's the whole point of living isn't it? happiness? it came because we put an effort in it. we go for what we want. you feel sad? it may because you don't feel grateful, you don't feel put an effort so much or it's just feel... you regret the time you ignore the opportunity. the answer - at least i think looking for - are "effort". 

so from now on, let's put an effort together shall we? let's go together hand in hand.

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